My Husband's Manly Obsession

As long time readers can attest, the Man I Married has become quite the consumer watchdog.

Whether it be battling other shoppers at our local discount bread outlet for loaves of expired rye or pumpernickel, clipping coupons, or buying his seasonal attire from the $5.00 and under rack at Walmart, ever since he blew out the candles on his fortieth birthday cake, purchasing goods at discount prices has become his manly obsession.

Forget credit cards, or anything else that might accrue interest, my husband, who was once as free with his money as Kanye West with an opinion, changed as middle age approached.

Suddenly everything in our world came with a price tag and blanket statements like "Can you belive the price on this!" or "Robbery!" in the middle of the chip and dip aisle at our local grocery store became the norm rather than the exception.

To combat raging prices, he's also taken to buying edible goods that come labelled with neon orange discount stickers - with the stickers indicating that not only has the product's price been slashed by at least fifty percent, it has either reached or expired its "Best Before" date - which isn't necessarily what you want with products like yogurt or cream cheese.

"It's fine!" he exclaims as he digs into a container of expired Yoptimal.

If you thought the probiotic cultures were powerful with the original, you have to try the post dated version... forget the Yoptimal two week challenge, the two hour challenge is about all you need around our house.

Of course, I won't touch anything with an orange label, the discount bread, or the variety of unusual snack items he purchases for himself at Liquidation World, or Dollarama - a store he's only recently discover, God help us, where he likes to go and get his shop on Saturday mornings before he hits Shoppers Drug Mart to search the 70% off bin.

But just as I got assimilated to orange labelled dairy items and learned to avoid them, my husband discovered another facet of his money saving self: clipping coupons and filling out consumer surveys on household items.

I don't remember how it all began except to say it was around the same time he started getting a publication entitled "Consumer Reports" in the mail.

Which has made him quite the expert if you're looking for the best prices on laundry soap or floor wax, but verging on the annoying when his shipments of coupons, free samples, and surveys come in.

It's gotten so the man can't wait to get the mail.

He finishes up his dinner most nights and then its off to the mailbox to see what's come in.

And when he gets a package - look out.

Sitting in the living room with his scissors, calculator (for answering skill testing questions) and other paraphernalia layed out on the coffee table before him, he begins.

Of course, it's never a solitary pursuit.

Why?

Because most of the coupons and product recommendations that come in are geared toward the ladies.

Which means that on the night the package arrives, I'd better be prepared to answer a lot of questions.

Questions like: "What brand of hair dye do you use?"

"Did you like that Midol PM?"

And, "Do you ever use imitation egg products?"

Marital bliss.

It's about turning a blind eye when he arrives home with a big bag full of expired Dad's Goodie Rings, or General Foods International Coffee in much the same way I require he play dumb when I'm prancing around the house in white spandex vying to be the next food network star.

That and the fact that I apparently get demanding when he's holding up my cue cards...

"Lower! You have to hold it LOWER!"

And that's the blog!

Because it's still chilly out, what about a bowl of my delicious Hamburger Soup for dinner tonight?

Stay tuned tomorrow for ideas around keeping Easter healthy!