The Top Five Things NOT To Do When Hosting Easter Brunch

I hosted Easter bunch yesterday, and while *most* of the food turned out to be very good, the pre-entertaining crazy woman who possesses my body prior to any kind of food related gathering, is apparently still in need of some kind of exorcism intervention

As such, I have decided to absolve myself of all holiday related sin by sharing the following advice:

The Top Five Things Not To Do When Hosting Easter Brunch

Pre Holiday Brunch Faux Pas #1: Don't tell yourself you're going to be relaxed "this time" and avoid doing all the prep work you usually engage in prior to entertaining.

In other words, crazy person know thyself.

Did you really think you wouldn't need to re-itemize the bathroom cupboards, dust the entire house from the floor level up, or re-decorate the living room with strategically placed nests and Easter eggs throughout prior to company coming?

Fool!

Although you may think otherwise, and despite the many times you've read Eat, Pray Love, you have NOT grown enough to embark on a major holiday like a "normal" person, and any thought to the contrary suggests you've been sniffing a little too much of the full fat cream cheese.

Pre Brunch Holiday Faux Pas #2: When you hide your husband's stuff household items into a bin in the hall closet with other bits of male generated paraphernalia, it's best not to place it on top of other bins that have been packed away for similar reasons.

Connected to that, balancing the bin precariously atop the throw cushion your mother Aurora bought you for Christmas last year, is really just a recipe for disaster when you live with people who don't know how to open cupboard doors gently...

Cue scene

Just as I was basting my holiday ham for the final time and congratulating myself on a job well done, I heard the following coming from the vicinity of the living room:

"THE *&^%!!@#! DAMN DOOR'S JAMMED AGAIN!!!"

Before I had the chance to register what was going on and successfully avert disaster, I heard a loud tug, followed by the startled exclamation of:

"Jesus H. Baldheaded!"

Then a crash.

On Easter Sunday.

Thirty minutes before company was to arrive, my carefully packed crate filled with nails, hammer, duct tape, and other manly items was all over the living room floor.

As peri-menopausal sweat dripped from my brow, I have a vague memory of my adult son home for the weekend talking me down...

And yes, I am the sole reason his future psychiatrist will one day be making a lot of money...

Pre Holiday Brunch Faux Pas #3: Bite-sized Cheesecakes, while perfectly charming, do not require the same baking time as a full on cake.

Sure, they look good, because spray can whipping cream hides many a sin, but have you ever eaten a piece of cheesecake that had the texture of powdered cement?


Bake them in a 350 oven for 35 minutes and you too can have this effect!




Pre Holiday Brunch Faux Pas #4: Screaming "Have you met me?" at your husband because he plunked himself onto your artfully arranged Chick and Hen throw cushions and then announcing he's ruining the ambience of the room just by being alive, is not the best way to handle communication in a marriage.

As an aside, it's an Easter Miracle that the Man I Married has not yet filed for divorce.

Hallelujah.

Pass the leftover scalloped potatoes.

Pre Holiday Brunch Faux Pas #5:

Not a lot needs to be said about this other than that my festively dyed Peter Cottontail eggs were not the hit I had initially anticipated.

People,  the men in my family re-named them.

Easter Bunny Diarrhea.

Where is the love?

(Don't answer that)

Apparently I won't be giving Martha Stewart a run for her money anytime soon!

And that's the blog.

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If you missed "My Slow Food Version of Filet o' Fish" give it a read!

And for a delicious Monday night dinner, check out the video here:

 

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Author:

Lyndsay Wells is a professional trainer, writer, and program developer with a passion for food and cooking. She is an award winning recipe developer, and a website ambassador for Kraft Foods Canada. Lyndsay believes cooking should be approachable and easy and has great tips and ideas for putting together sophisticated looking dishes that cooks of all levels can accomplish.

Visit her daily on her blog, The Kitchen Witch or on her YouTube Channel, CHARMED With The Kitchen Witch.